What I Wrote
by That One Chiklit
Summary: She loved to write, he loved to read. Their worlds would soon collide.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, here goes. This is my journal/story kind of thing. It is I bit I decided to write from my journal entries. This is a very personal story and I am really nervous writing it because my deepest fears and many of my deep emotions are being shown to a world full of strangers. I have no idea how you all will react. Basically this is story about me. He he nervous chuckle If you have read my previous (and now deleted) stories you will find that I am secretly created my self as the main character. As my little escape. So when you read this just remember, you are reading my journal and small scenarios I have created for my self. He he another nervous chuckle**

**-Sincerely,**

**Alaina Lee Ross**

T.V. my little escape from reality. Many of my friends thought I was just crazy when I came to school excited because Stargate was on that night. I would literally bounce of the walls and count the hours until eight that night. Now it even sounds crazy to me. It was a Stargate Atlantis fan marathon on the night my life changed forever. As usual I left to go upstairs fifteen minutes before it came on to "prep" myself. I had begun to think I had to look good to watch such beautiful people act, almost as if they could see threw the T.V. to see me. I sat on the couch gently and fluffed my long light brown hair into a perfect-slicked back ponytail. My heart nearly skipped a beat when I heard the "sci-fi original series" bit. I could feel my heart growing with excitement as I heard the Stargate Atlantis theme song and I let out a small breath I didn't know I was holding when I saw Paul mcgillion's famous dimples smiling almost at me. Subconsciously I touched my ponytail to see if it was perfect.

Tonight it was one of my favorite episodes. The one where Carson and the rest of SGA-1 went to find that one guy's team who was overdue. I didn't even bother to remember his name because I was so engrossed in the fact that Carson Beckett was going off world. That always meant good things for me. Soon after many agonizing commercials, I finally saw the part I wanted to see. Carson had a black tee shirt on and he was clad in bloody white gloves, (you'd think I would think it was gross, but it really didn't bother me) and you could get a full view of his awesome muscles. I lay back on the couch and closed my eyes, falling into a gentle sleep, hoping I would dream of him that night.

* * *

_beep beep beep_

I figured it was just my cell phone. Probably Kendra texting me. I reached an arm out and fumbled around for my phone. But strangely enough I didn't feel it, my hand dipped into a bowl of Jell-O.

_What the…? _I thought.

"I think she's commin' around" I heard a voice say. Things were just getting stranger and stranger. That almost sounded like…Carson? My eyes snapped open.

"It's nice to see the pretty brown eyes, lass" the voice said again

_Oh…my…gosh…it IS Carson!! _My head screamed. The face that had come into my line of view looked amazingly like…John? Now this was creepy. I looked down the length of my body. I was clad in hospital scrubs. I clamped my hands over my face, and mumbled threw my fingers,

"I am going insane!"

**I really hoped you like it! And I will try to update but I need reveiws for that. Please press the pretty little button and tell me what you think!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow, one review. Well thanks to my one reviewer and I hope you enjoy the next chapter…**

"Love, I assure ya, yer not insane" 'Carson' said gently prying the fingers off my face. I tightly squeezed my eyes shut letting the small shiver pass.

"Then I must be delusional, this can't be real," I said, eyes still shut.

"Real as the nose on yer face!" he reached down and gently wiggled my nose. I giggled a bit.

_I guess I can enjoy this dream for a while!_ I thought. Then hand slowly moved to my forehead and draped across it. I let out a small sigh and goose bumps traveled up my arms.

"Ya have a bit of a fever, but nothin' ta get worked up about" he said and the hand moved away. I looked around. Rodney lay unconscious a couple of beds over. He saw the confusion on my face and said

"Tha's Rodney, I sedated him inta next week, he can be quite a bugger when he's in pain." He said. "I figured ya might need a bit of rest" he smiled and I couldn't help but smile back seeing his dimples.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed, only to be pushed back by Dr. Beckett's strong hands.

"Wha' do ya think yer doin'" he asked

"Well, I figure if this is a dream I might as well make the best of it" I said struggling against Carson.

"Dream?" he asked.

"This is all just a dream." I replied coolly. A frown made it's way to his beautiful face.

"See, I will show you." I stood and grabbed a scalpel that just happened to be lying nearby, why I don't know. And held it to my stomach.

"Watch" I said and plunged the thing deep in my stomach. At first I felt no pain, then in came, in waves the hit with amazing force and I crumpled on the ground. Just before blackness took over I remember Carson the worry lines etched in his face shouting orders. I lay my head back and let my self-drift away.

* * *

I re awoke with a start. I took notice of my surroundings. I was on a cold table and bright lights shone brightly above me. I tried to call out to some one but it came out as a weak whimper. Soon a masked face appeared in my line of view. The bright blue eyes gave away the owner

"Carson" I whispered. "Are you mad at me?" he shook his head.

"No, I just want ta make sure yer safe. Ya managed to cut inta yer stomach and were gonna need ta repair it. Don't worry, ital all be over soon." He rubbed my shoulder for comfort, but sickening dread was setting in. this wasn't a dream. Soon a thick white mask closed in and I took my first breath of the sweat anesthesia and darkness closed in.

**Hi, I just wanted to ask if anybody has any medical knowledge, what so ever, that could help me. I have a bit but not enough. Please help!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Not to give it away or anything but whoa. I had the coolest revelation writing this. Read this and you will have the same "Whoa!" reaction.**

My first moments of consciousness were not pretty ones. A bright light shone in my eyes for a few seconds, and I squeezed my eyes shut. When I reopened them the light was gone and as replaced by the same set of blue eyes she had awoken to three times now.

"Not a dream" I croaked in dead realization. Carson shook his head.

"I jus' have one question luv, ya called my name jus' before surgery and yet I never told it ta ya." He added a quizzical look for good measure. I sighed. This was gonna be hard to explain. In most of the fan fiction she read, this always led to Height-Meyer. Again I sighed and pointed to john

"Colonel John Sheppard, formally a pilot in Afghanistan, now currently head of military on the Atlantis expedition" I said quickly, I pointed to Teyla standing in one of the far corners almost out of site

"Teyla Emmagen, Athosian tribal leader and assists Elizabeth weir in trading agreements." Teyla stood a little straighter. I turned and faced Rodney who was now wide-awake.

"Rodney McKay, calls himself the smartest man in two galaxies, and then blows up three fourths of a solar system. Constantly finds him self in trouble, like the time a native shoot you in the butt with an arrow. You're funny on morphine!" I giggled a bit and turned back to an extremely confused Carson.

"Carson Beckett," I said finally. "Chief medical officer and all around nice guy. Formally originating from a small town in Scotland, and the man of my dreams," she added her voice dropping to an almost whisper. His jaw nearly hit the floor.

_Now I've done it. They really think I am crazy!_

"Luv, I have no idea how you know these things but I think you should talk to Liz…" he trailed off. At that moment Rodney butted in

"It was five sixths," Rodney said

"What?" Carson asked

"It wasn't three fourths of the solar system that I blew up, it was five sixths"

"Elizabeth said it was three fourths. I tend to believe her just a little more" Rodney slumped back into his bed pouting, but I didn't think Carson's eyebrows could go any higher.

"I really think I should get Dr. Weir." He said mostly to himself and turned and left. Slowly I began to think, this all sounded like a document I had written many years ago on my computer. I even knew exactly what Carson was going to say over his comm. unit.

"Elizabeth," we said at the same time. "I think you should come down here and check this out. The girl that came through the gate, knows things about Atlantis she shouldn't" I looked up. Then lip-synced,

"Personal things"

"No way!" I said. "Now I really am going insane!" Carson nodded in agreement, eyes wide.

**Now what do you think of my twist? Press that blue…ish…button and put it into words!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Gosh! I was so excited about what was coming next (And I don't even know!! Wait…oh yeah! Now I do! Read the bottom note after you finish reading) that I just had to update! Enjoy!**

Moments later Elizabeth arrived.

"I was wondering if we could talk…" she turned to Carson "Did we ever get her name?" Carson just shrugged.

"Alaina" I said **(pronounced like uh/lane/uh)**. "My name is Alaina"

"Right" she said nodding "so tell me, us" she motioned around her at the crowd that appeared "what else do you know?"

I soon began to tell her of all the information I had gained about the two franchises of Stargate, the Internet, and the ONLY Stargate fan at my middle school, Travis. Of course I didn't tell _her_ this. I couldn't wait to tell Travis about this, if I ever did get the chance…

Finally Teyla spoke up, "how is it that you acquired all his information?" she asked. I remembered writing this part. In fact I was listening to Enya's Ebudae. I began to tap to the beat of the song as I closed my eyes a recited what I had wrote in reply. This all seemed a little to weird…

"In my reality all of this is a television show called Stargate Atlantis. I know of the base in Cheyenne Mountain because of the show originally started from another T.V. show called Stargate SG1." I took a breath and waited for the reply I knew was coming from Rodney

"Well, this is a…" he waited and searched for the words he was looking for.

"Big load of crap" he said finally. Then I said for him, in a bad imitation of his annoying voice,

"_For all we know she could be a wraith spy or even an ancient!_" Rodney gave a bewildered look to me.

"It's almost as if you stole the words out of my mouth." He said.

_You have no idea; _I thought throwing him a devious grin

"There's something else," I say. _This part isn't in my story_

"A couple of months ago, I wrote a story. This story…actually" I sighed, looking back at the people who now thought I was crazy

"I know it sounds crazy, and I thought it was just a dream, hence the stabbing myself" I winced "but, I know every thing you are going to say, every move you make, and kick John he is about to fall asleep" she added. He jerked his head up

"What? Nu uh!" he said, defending himself. But the sleep in his eyes told a different story.

"And don't even ask Carson, you have three fingers up" he sat back down defeated.

"Please! Believe me! And just like you say John, 'stranger things have happened'!"

Weeks passed and finally after long excruciating hours with, none the other, Kate Height-Meyer, and proven I was sane, I was released from Carson's grasp (much to my displeasure). I began to rome the halls of Atlantis in my free time, when Rodney wasn't pestering me. His ankle finally healed, and he too, was released from the infirmary. But some thing was nagging me. Something I knew I had written into the story that I had to remember. All of the sudden the city shook tremendously. I gripped the wall and finally knew what I had written in. The city was going to explode. And every one was going to die. Seriously.

**Just to tell you I really did write this story in my computer. I wanted incorporate this somehow but I didn't know how. Now I know. And every one DOES die. (Evil laugh) muahaha!! Tell me what you think! Flames will be used to… well, I don't know but I am sure it will hurt!**


	5. Chapter 5

**I have decided just to update on the weekends, just so you know. Enjoy!**

As fast as I could I sprinted towards the control room. That's where every one would be.

"RODNEY! ZELENKA!" I yelled out of breath.

"What?" Zelenka asked, curious.

"This place is gonna blow!" I said motioning the explosion with my hands.

Rodney's eyes went wide.

"Why would you write that?!" he yelled his voice reaching a girlish pitch.

"I had writers block and didn't know how to end!" I yelled back defensively.

"Oh great! An imaginary disease is going to kill us all!" he said throwing his hands up in defeat.

"Only you have forgotten one thing"

"Oh and what would that be? Something worse?" Rodney said his back turned.

"I wrote the story. I know what happens. I can stop it." I said

"'It?' he asked "what it?"

I closed my eyes and focused on trying to remember what I wrote.

"A virus. It's a virus," I said.

Rodney smiled. "Are you kidding? A stupid virus is gonna kill us all?"

I nodded her eyes shut in pain, tears brimming. "What is wrong" Zelenka asked.

I looked up and gave a small watery smile. "I have the virus." I said quietly.

"Oh great!" Rodney said again "A virus from a fourteen year old is gonna kill us all!"

In my story I never told anyone that _I _contracted the virus, by pure chance. I was under the influence of a drug from the wraith to destroy the city; their logic was that if they couldn't have the city, no one could. Carson never figured out an anti-viral drug in time. The entire city had blown. Now that I knew that I was soon to be infected from the virus I could stop it. I sighed; I had to turn myself in. I turned around and began my slow journey to the infirmary. When I arrived Carson looked up from his paper work smiling slightly. Again I felt tears begin to stream down my face knowing in a few hours I was going to kill him.

"Luv?" he asked gently, standing, "what's wrong?" he asked.

I looked up with tears in my eyes again, but this time frowning slightly.

"What happened?" he asked again

"It's not what happened, it's what's going to happen," I said.

His eyes went quickly from comfort to worry. "What's going to happen?"

"I am going to blow up the city." I said even quieter than the first time.

"What-" but he was cut off by his comm. unit activating.

"Carson!" I faintly heard Rodney yell. "The new girl is gonna blow up the city!"

"I know Rodney," he said quietly, still not breaking eye contact from me, "I know"

"It's a virus. It's going to take over my brain like a symbiote. Then make me set the self-destruct. I have to make sure I can't." I let out a shaky sigh and felt more warm tears making its way down my cheek and dripping off my chin. "You couldn't get the anti-virus in time" I added with a whisper.

"I know how to stop it though. Put me in an isolation room with a couple guards." And with that she put her wrists out like in the old movies.

**...Tell me what you think…**


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, I feel so special being mentioned in my friends A/N so I will say hi to her here… HI!!! You should read Beckettsbabe09's stories! She wrote, "I'm a bit rusty" that inspired me to write this story. And extra special thanks to Cap10 for agreeing to co-write a story with me!! Thank you!!! Now on with the story…**

"Alaina, ya know this is a little hard to grasp," he said chuckling slightly.

"But Carson! You have to trust me!" I almost sobbed.

He placed his hands on my shoulders and bent down a bit to be at eye level with me "I do trust ya luv, c'mon, lets get you to a room" I smiled, but only slightly because I knew what was ahead in the next few hours.

A couple of hours later 

I shook tremendously. Beads of sweat poured down my face and plastered to my chin and neck, soaking my shirt. I pulled my knees up to my chest trying to get some relief from the excruciating pain sweeping through my frail body.

"Carson! Make it stop!!!!" I cried out. Another wave of pain rippled through my body and my back arched, my mind on the verge of slipping into the oblivion. With a small sigh he said he had already given me my Morphine limit.

"Not helping!!!" I screamed. He stroked my wet hair.

"I know luv, it will all be over soon." Despite my pleadings, he insisted he stay in the isolation room. My counter was that I had no idea what I was capable of doing But none he less, he stayed holding my hand, gently helping me along. It had been hours and my fever had gotten worse in that time.

"Please!" I screamed again, the black pulling on the edge of my consciousness threatening to take over. "Make it stop!"

"Shh…" he whispered. "It's gonna be alright" he squeezed my hand a little tighter, but this time there was no shiver up my spine no Goosebumps on my arm just pure pain. It felt as if my head would explode if I didn't give in to the darkness. I wanted to so bad! But I had an idea of what would happen if did. I mentally cursed myself for writing that stupid story. Why did I put myself in so much pain? Why did I make such a sweet man die? Why did I come here? Finally I was too tired to fight. I gave in. I blacked out.

"NO! Alaina! You can't let it take over! You have to fight! C'mon! Stay with me!" he yelled. But it was no use. I closed my eyes only to let icy blue ones with small slits for pupils take over. With amazing force I pushed away Carson, and burst threw the door knocking out all the guards and made my way to the gate room. My mind willed myself to stop, trying to regain control, but I couldn't. I was living a nightmare…in real time. Through foreign eyes I saw myself in a refection of a window, but it wasn't me. The eyes disturbed me most. Why had I done this to myself? I reached the gate computer and began to enter the code for the self-destruct.

_No! _I pleaded with myself, trying to hold back the hand that was trying to enter the last number of the code. Whoever told me the code anyway?

_Idiot!_ I thought to myself. I chuckled a bit thinking Napoleon Dynamite before I die was a great last thought. I reached into my pocket with my other hand that seemed free and pulled out a small hair tie that Carson had given to me to keep my sweaty hair out of my face. It was then I realized the pain of my fever was gone.

_At least I won't die sweating like a pig_. Almost like a cliché miracle John stepped up behind me and shot me with a wraith stunner. I crumpled to the ground, passed out.

"Somebody get Carson!" he yelled just before I blacked out for the last time.

-----

I woke up again to the same _beep…beep…beep_

I smiled before I opened my eyes, knowing Carson would be there. But he wasn't. It was my mom. She had tears in her eyes

"Alaina!" she said

"What? What happened?" I croaked.

"You've been in a coma for three months."

**Oh no! What happened now? Stay tuned to find out!**


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